Barrie, J M - Quality Street Page 3

  (She kisses the hand.)

  ARTHUR (gloomily). Oh, ma'am, you will never be able to cane if you hold it like that. You should hold it like this, Miss Phoebe, and give it a wriggle like that.

  (She is too soft-hearted to follow his in- structions.)

  PHOEBE (almost in tears) . Go away. ARTHUR (remembering that women are strange). Don't cry, ma'am; I love you, Miss Phoebe. (She seats him on her knee, and he thinks of a way to please her.)

  40 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  If any boy says you can't cane I will blood him, Miss Phoebe.

  (PHOEBE shudders, and MISS SUSAN again darts in. She signs to PHOEBE to send ARTHUR away.)

  MISS SUSAN (as soon as ARTHUR has gone). Phoebe, if a herring and a half cost three ha'pence, how many for elevenpence ?

  PHOEBE (instantly). Eleven.

  MISS SUSAN. William Smith says it is fifteen; and he is such a big boy, do you think I ought to contradict him ? May I say there are differ- ences of opinion about it? No one can be really sure, Phoebe.

  PHOEBE. It is eleven. I once worked it out with real herrings. (Stoutly.) Susan, we must never let the big boys know that we are afraid of them. To awe them, stamp with the foot,speak in a ferocious voice, and look them unflinch- ingly in the face. (Then she pales.) Oh, Susan, Isabella's father insists on her acquiring algebra.

  MISS SUSAN. What is algebra exactly; is it those three cornered things ?

  PHOEBE. It is x minus y equals z plus y and

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  things like that. And all the time you are saying they are equal, you feel in your heart, why should they be.

  (The music of the band swells here, and both ladies put their hands to their ears.) It is the band for to-night's ball. We must not grudge their rejoicings, Susan. It is not every year that there is a Waterloo to celebrate. MISS SUSAN. I was not thinking of that. I was thinking that he is to be at the ball to-night; and we have not seen him for ten years.

  PHOEBE (calmly). Yes, ten years. We shall be glad to welcome our old friend back, Susan. I am going in to your room now to take the Latin class.

  (A soldier with a girl passes a yokel follows angrily.)

  MISS SUSAN. Oh, that weary Latin, I wish I had the whipping of the man who invented it.

  (She returns to her room, and the sound of the music dies away. MISS PHOEBE, who is not a very accomplished classical scholar, is taking a final peep at the declensions when MISS SUSAN reappears excitedly.)

  42 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  PHOEBE. What is it ?

  MISS SUSAN (tragically). William Smith! Phoebe, I tried to look ferocious, indeed I did, but he saw I was afraid, and before the whole school he put out his tongue at me. PHOEBE. Susan !

  (She is lion-hearted ; she remembers ARTHUR'S instructions, and practises with the cane.)

  MISS SUSAN (frightened). Phoebe, he is much too big. Let it pass.

  PHOEBE. If I let it pass I am a stumbling- block in the way of true education. MISS SUSAN. Sister. PHOEBE (grandly). Susan, stand aside.

  (Giving the cane ARTHUR'S most telling flick, she marches into the other room. Then, while MISS SUSAN is listening nervously, CAPTAIN VALENTINE BROWN is ushered in by PATTY. He is bronzed and soldierly. He wears the whiskers of the period, and is in uniform. He has lost his left hand, but this is not at first noticeable.) PATTY. Miss Susan, 'tis Captain Brown !

  u.[ QUALITY STREET 43

  MISS SUSAN. Captain Brown ! VALENTINE (greeting her warmly). Reports himself at home again.

  MISS SUSAN (gratified). You call this home? VALENTINE. When the other men talked of their homes, Miss Susan, I thought of this room. (Looking about him.) Maps desks heigho ! But still it is the same dear room. I have often dreamt, Miss Susan, that I came back to it in muddy shoes. (Seeing her alarm.) I have not, you know ! Miss Susan, I rejoice to find no change in you; and Miss Phoebe Miss Phoebe of the ringlets I hope there be as little change in her?

  MISS SUSAN (painfully). Phoebe of the ring- lets ! Ah, Captain Brown, you need not expect to see her.

  VALENTINE. She is not here? I vow it spoils all my home-coming.

  (At this moment the door of the other room is flung open and PHOEBE rushes out, followed by WILLIAM SMITH who is brandishing the cane. VALENTINE takes in the situation, and without looking at

  44 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  PHOEBE seizes WILLIAM by the collar and marches him out of the school.) MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, did you see who it is? PHOEBE. I saw. (In a sudden tremor.) Susa n, I have lost all my looks.

  (The pupils are crmvding in from MISS SUSAN'S room and she orders them back and goes with them. VALENTINE returns, and speaks as he enters, not recognising PHOEBE, whose back is to him.) VALENTINE. A young reprobate, madam, but I have deposited him on the causeway. I fear (He stops, puzzled because ilie lady has covered her face ivith her hands.) PHOEBE. Captain Brown. VALENTINE. Miss Phoebe, it is you ?

  (He goes to her, but he cannot help show- ing that her appearance is a shock to him.)

  PHOEBE (without bitterness). Yes, I have changed very much, I have not worn well, Captain Brown.

  VALENTINE (awkwardly). We we are both older, Miss Phoebe.

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  (He holds out his hand warmly, with affected high spirits.)

  PHOEBE (smiling reproachfully) . It was both hands when you went away. (He has to show that his left hand is gone ; she is overcome.) I did not know. (She presses the empty sleeve in remorse.) You never mentioned it in your letters.

  VALENTINE (now grown rather stern). Miss .Phoebe, what did you omit from your letters that you had such young blackguards as that to terrify you?

  PHOEBE. He is the only one. Most of them are dear children; and this is the last day of the term.

  VALENTINE. Ah, ma'am, if only you had invested all your money as you laid out part by my advice. What a monstrous pity you did not.

  PHOEBE. We never thought of it.

  VALENTINE. You look so tired.

  PHOEBE. I have the headache to-day.

  VALENTINE. You did not use to have the headache. Curse those dear children.

  46 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  PHOEBE (bravely). Nay, do not distress your- self about me. Tell me of yourself. We are so proud of the way in which you won your com- mission. Will you leave the army now ?

  VALENTINE. Yes; and I have some intention of pursuing again the old life in Quality Street. (He is not a man who has reflected much. He has come back thinking that all the adventures have been his, and that the old life in Quality Street has waited 9 as in a sleep, to be resumed on the day of his return.) I came here in such high spirits, Miss Phoebe.

  PHOEBE (with a wry smile) . The change in me depresses you.

  VALENTINE. I was in hopes that you and Miss Susan would be going to the ball. I had brought cards for you with me to make sure.

  (She is pleased and means to accept. He sighs, and she understands that he thinks her too old.)

  PHOEBE. But now you see that my dancing days are done.

  VALENTINE (uncomfortably). Ah, no.

  PHOEBE (taking care he shall not see that he has

  ii.] QUALITY STREET 47

  hurt her). But you will find many charming partners. Some of them have been my pupils. There was even a pupil of mine who fought at Waterloo.

  VALENTINE. Young Blades; I have heard him on it. (She puts her hand wearily to her head). Miss Phoebe what a dull grey world it is!

  (She turns away to hide her emotion, and MISS SUSAN comes in.)

  MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, I have said that you will not take the Latin class to-day, and I am dismissing them. VALENTINE. Latin ?

  PHOEBE (rather defiantly). I am proud to teach it. (Breaking down.) Susan his arm have you seen ?

  (MISS SUSAN also is overcome, but recovers as the children crowd in.) MISS SUSAN. Hats off, gentlemen salute, ladies curtsy to the brave Captain Brown.

  (CAPTAIN BROWN salutes them awkwardly, and they cheer him, to his great discomfort, as they pass out.
)

  48 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  VALENTINE (when they have gone}. A terrible ordeal, ma'am.

  (The old friends look at each other, and there is a silence. VALENTINE feels that all the fine tales and merry jests he has brought back for the ladies have turned into dead things. He wants to go away and think.)

  PHOEBE. I wish you very happy at the ball. VALENTINE (sighing). Miss Susan, cannot we turn all these maps and horrors out till the vacation is over?

  MISS SUSAN. Indeed, sir, we always do. By to-morrow this will be my dear blue and white room again, and that my sweet spare bed- room.

  PHOEBE. For five weeks ! VALENTINE (making vain belief). And then the the dashing Mr. Brown will drop in as of old, and, behold, Miss Susan on her knees once more putting tucks into my little friend the ottoman, and Miss Phoebe Miss Phoebe PHOEBE. Phoebe of the ringlets ! (She goes out quietly.)

  n.J QUALITY STREET 49

  VALENTINE (miserably). Miss Susan, what a shame it is.

  MISS SUSAN (hotly). Yes, it is a shame.

  VALENTINE (suddenly become more of a man). The brave Captain Brown ! Good God, ma'am, how much more brave are the ladies who keep a school.

  (PATTY shows in two visitors, MISS

  CHARLOTTE PARRATT and ENSIGN BLADES.

  CHARLOTTE is a pretty minx who we are glad to say does not reside in Quality Street, and BLADES is a callow youth, in- viting admiration.)

  CHARLOTTE (as they salute). But I did not know you had company, Miss Susan.

  MISS SUSAN. 'Tis Captain Brown Miss Charlotte Parratt.

  CHARLOTTE (gushing). The heroic Brown? VALENTINE. Alas, no, ma'am, the other one.

  CHARLOTTE. Miss Susan, do you see who accompanies me ?

  MISS SUSAN. I cannot quite recall-

  BLADES. A few years ago, ma'am, there sat

  50 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  in this room a scrubby, inky little boy I was that boy.

  MISS SUSAN. Can it be our old pupil Ensign Blades?

  (She thinks him very fine, and he bows, well pleased.)

  BLADES. Once a little boy and now your most obedient, ma'am.

  MISS SUSAN. You have come to recall old memories ?

  BLADES. Not precisely; I Charlotte, explain.

  CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades wishes me to say that it must seem highly romantic to you to have had a pupil who has fought at Waterloo.

  MISS SUSAN. Not exactly romantic. I trust, sir, that when you speak of having been our pupil you are also so obliging as to mention that it was during our first year. Otherwise it makes us seem so elderly.

  (He bows again, in what he believes to be a quizzical manner.)

  CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades would be pleased

  IL] QUALITY STREET 51

  to hear, Miss Susan, what you think of him as a whole.

  MISS SUSAN. Indeed, sir, I thmk you are monstrous fine. (Innocently.} It quite awes me to remember that we used to whip him.

  VALENTINE (delighted). Whipped him, Miss Susan ! (In solemn burlesque of CHARLOTTE.) Ensign Blades wishes to indicate that it was more than Buonaparte could do. We shall meet again, bright boy.

  (He makes his adieux and goes.)

  BLADES. Do you think he was quizzing me?

  MISS SUSAN (simply). I cannot think so.

  BLADES. He said 'bright boy,' ma'am.

  MISS SUSAN. I am sure, sir, he did not mean it.

  (PHOEBE returns.)

  PHOEBE. Charlotte, I am happy to see you. You look delicious, my dear so young and fresh.

  CHARLOTTE. La! Do you think so, Miss Phoebe?

  BLADES. Miss Phoebe, your obedient.

  52 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  PHOEBE. It is Ensign Blades ! But how kind of you, sir, to revisit the old school. Please to sit down.

  CHARLOTTE. Ensign Blades has a favour to ask of you, Miss Phoebe.

  BLADES. I learn, ma'am, that Captain Brown has obtained a card for you for the ball, and I am here to solicit for the honour of standing up with you.

  (For the moment PHOEBE is flattered. Here, she believes, is some one who does not think her too old for the dance. Then she perceives a meaning smile pass between CHARLOTTE and the ENSIGN.) PHOEBE (paling). Is it that you desire to make sport of me ?

  BLADES (honestly distressed). Oh no, ma'am, I vow but I I am such a quiz, ma'am. MISS SUSAN. Sister !

  PHOEBE. I am sorry, sir, to have to deprive you of some entertainment, but I am not going to the ball.

  MISS SUSAN (haughtily). Ensign Blades, I bid you my adieux.

  uj QUALITY STREET 53

  BLADES (ashamed). If I have hurt Miss Phoebe's feelings I beg to apologise.

  MISS SUSAN. // you have hurt them. Oh, sir, how is it possible for any one to be as silly as you seem to be.

  BLADES (who cannot find the answer). Charlotte explain.

  (But CHARLOTTE considers that their visit has not been sufficiently esteemed and departs with a cold curtsy, taking him with her.)

  (MISS SUSAN turns sympathetically to PHOEBE, but PHOEBE, fighting with her pain, sits down at the spinet and plays at first excitedly a gay tune, then slowly, then comes to a stop with her head bowed. Soon she jumps up courageously , brushes away her distress, gets an algebra book from the desk and sits down to study it. MISS SUSAN is at the window, where ladies and gentlemen are now seen passing in ball attire.)

  MISS SUSAN. What book is it, Phoebe ?

  PHOEBE. It is an algebra.

  54 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  MISS SUSAN. They are going by to the ball. (In anger.) My Phoebe should be going to the ball, too.

  PHOEBE. You jest, Susan. (MISS SUSAN watches her read. PHOEBE has to wipe away a tear; soon she rises and gives way to the emotion she has been suppressing ever since the entrance of VALENTINE.) Susan, I hate him. Oh, Susan, I could hate him if it were not for his poor hand.

  MISS SUSAN. My dear.

  PHOEBE. He thought I was old, because I am weary, and he should not have forgotten. I am only thirty. Susan, why does thirty seem so much more than twenty-nine ? (As if VALENTINE were present.) Oh, sir, how dare you look so pityingly at me? Because I have had to work so hard, is it a crime when a woman works? Because I have tried to be courageous have I been courageous, Susan ?

  MISS SUSAN. God knows you have.

  PHOEBE. But it has given me the headache, it has tired my eyes. Alas, Miss Phoebe, all your charm has gone, for you have the headache,

  H.] QUALITY STREET 55

  and your eyes are tired. He is dancing with Charlotte Parratt now, Susan. 'I vow, Miss Charlotte, you are selfish and silly, but you are sweet eighteen.' 'Oh la, Captain Brown, what a quiz you are.' That delights him, Susan; see how he waggles his silly head.

  MISS SUSAN. Charlotte Parratt is a goose.

  PHOEBE. 'Tis what gentlemen prefer. If there were a sufficient number of geese to go round, Susan, no woman of sense would ever get a husband. ' Charming Miss Charlotte, you are like a garden; Miss Phoebe was like a garden once, but 'tis a faded garden now.'

  MISS SUSAN. If to be ladylike

  PHOEBE. Susan, I am tired of being ladylike. I am a young woman still, and to be ladylike is not enough. I wish to be bright and thoughtless and merry. It is every woman's birthright to be petted and admired; I wish to be petted and admired. Was I born to be confined within these four walls? Are they the world, Susan, or is there anything beyond them? I want to know. My eyes are tired because for ten years they have seen nothing but maps

  56 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  and desks. Ten years ! Ten years ago I went to bed a young girl and I woke with this cap on my head. It is not fair. This is not me, Susan, this is some other person, I want to be myself.

  MISS SUSAN. Phoebe, Phoebe, you who have always been so patient !

  PHOEBE. Oh no, not always. If you only knew how I have rebelled at times, you would turn from me in horror. Susan, I have a picture of myself as I used to be; I sometimes look at it. I sometimes kiss it, and say, 'Poor girl, they have all forgotten you. But I re- me
mber.'

  MISS SUSAN. I cannot recall it.

  PHOEBE. I keep it locked away in my room. Would you like to see it ? I shall bring it down. My room! Oh, Susan, it is there that the Phoebe you think so patient has the hardest fight with herself, for there I have seemed to hear and see the Phoebe of whom this (looking at herself) is but an image in a distorted glass. I have heard her singing as if she thought she was still a girl. I have heard her weeping; perhaps it was only I who was weeping; but she seemed

  ii.] QUALITY STREET 57

  to cry to me, 'Let me out of this prison, give me back the years you have taken from me. Oh, where are my pretty curls ? ' she cried. * Where is my youth, my youth/

  (She goes out, leaving MISS SUSAN woeful. Presently SUSAN takes up the algebra book and reads.)

  MISS SUSAN. 'A stroke B multiplied by B stroke C equal AB stroke a little 2; stroke AC add BC. "Poor Phoebe!" Multiply by C stroke A and we get Poor Pho.ebe! C a B stroke a little 2 stroke AC little 2 add BC. "Oh, I cannot believe it!" Stroke a little 2 again, add AB little 2 add a little 2 C stroke a BC.' . . . (PATTY comes in with the lamp.)

  PATTY. Hurting your poor eyes reading without a lamp. Think shame, Miss Susan.

  MISS SUSAN (with spirit). Patty, I will not be dictated to. (PATTY looks out at window.) Draw the curtains at once. I cannot allow you to stand gazing at the foolish creatures who crowd to a ball.

  PATTY (closing curtains). I am not gazing at them, ma'am; I arn gazing at my sweetheart.

  58 QUALITY STREET [ACT

  MISS SUSAN. Your sweetheart ? (Softly.) I did not know you had one.

  PATTY. Nor have I, ma'am, as yet. But I looks out, and thinks I to myself, at any moment he may turn the corner. I ha' been looking out at windows waiting for him to oblige by turning the corner this fifteen years.